Ruin Mania
by Ill Lasanga
Summary: Two lovers are bound to each other by tragedy. Or something cheesy like that.


**Cee Cee: This was supposed to be a tragedy. Then I had cookie dough at 7 A.M. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the title Ruin Maniac, Eterna City, Sinnoh, our anything else blatantly not mine.**

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**Ruin Mania: The price one has to pay for affection**

"Breaking news from Sinnoh! This is Abby Sol, your leading Natural Disaster reporter here with a shocking new tragedy!" A twenty-something woman was holding a microphone and trying to look extremely important. "Eterna City has been swallowed up by the earth!"

The scene pans out from Abby. Several buildings were half-buried under rubble. The air was thick with dust and other small particles of matter. Police officials lined a path out of the disaster area and helped civilians along. A small team of people and pokemon hopped through the wreckage, retrieving the survivors.

"Earlier today Eterna City collapsed in a massive earthquake. The primary cause of this is unknown, however, at the center of this commotion is the famed Team Galactic building, which was about to be knocked down." the Cameraman aimed his camera at the remains of the aforementioned building. Mottled grey was barely visible against the ever-present brown. "Is Galactic at it once more? We'll find out after this break."

Abby appears in the magic box again. This time she had a Police Commander ready to be torn apart by her l33t 1nt3rv13w1n9 5k!llz. "Sir," She addresses him, "What has happened here?"

He used the straightforward tactic. "We now know that the solid foundation of the city had been worn down enough so that it would crack when _one more_ stressful act was performed."

"So you have no idea who-"

"Or _what_." The Cameraman interrupted surly.

"Started this?" Unbeknownst to Abby, a raggedy young man jumped into the shot. A massive rucksack was perched on his back, rivaled by the mans disheveled brown hair.

"Rest assured, our best detectives are on the case as we speak. No more questions." The Commander turned away. In a flash, the creeper grabbed the microphone and imposed himself on the camera's view.

"Hello! This is the Ruin Maniac, returning from an extended trip from under the surface!" Abby glared at him for getting rid of her screen time. He meekly gave it back.

"Well, Ruin Maniac," She added extra animosity, "Why didn't you just _stay buried_?" What followed was more glaring.

"Nope! I've got something to show you and the rest of the world."

"Come on, Cameraman, we don't associate with riffraff." Ms. Sol wandered away and interviewed a traumatized family before the Ruin Maniac showed up again. He flat-out refused to stop following them.

"No really, I have something to show you." He rifled through his backpack.

"Really!? You've have nothing to show for us for 5 years and NOW you show up? This is MY big break! So unless you have undeniable proof abut what happened here, GET OUT OF MY SPOTLIGHT!" Abby was screaming the last part out when something caught her attention.

Ruin Maniac was holding out a Heart Scale with an apologetic whimper of 'Don't kill me, please Mew don't let her kill me…'

"Where did you get that?" Abby grasped the Heart Scale from him and examined it carefully. A faint light seemed to be emitted from it, giving the brittle heart an odd quality.

"Underground, where else? It took me two weeks under Eterna just to find a _hint_ of one, even longer to get the right one."

"Aww… That's sweet." Ruin Maniac blushed and unconsciously scratched the back of his neck. "But it's really not me. I'm more of a diamond ring type."

Cue epic rejection face by Ruin Maniac.

"But I almost died! Right when I got the Scale, the underground caverns collapsed!"

"'Almost' died isn't enough. Haven't you ever heard of never doing things halfway?" The journalist berated him in a rant that I omitted.

"Alright, alright, sheesh! I'm going!" Ruin Maniac leaned forward and kissed the pissed reporter on the nose. During the timed speechlessness normal after a kiss, he retreated underground. "Bye!"

Abby regained her composure. "Cameraman, give me the tape." She said in a deathly quiet voice.

"I'm under strict orders not to let you do that."

"GIVE ME THE ARCEUS-DAMNED TAPE!"

**Cee Cee: I think I just made 'Specialguestshipping'. 0_o. Review now and get a free Ruin Maniac Plushy! (Dirt not included)**

**Random Last Words,**

**Cee Cee The Critic **


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